At a company dinner, there was a foreign colleague who started eating before the boss had even picked up his spoon. Nobody said anything, but the mood froze a little. Later, that friend said, "Somebody should have told me the rules." He's right. There were no rules. What there was, was nunchi. ## Nunchi is a vibe you measure with your eyes "Nunchi" is the act of gauging people's moods and the situation with your eyes. That's why people say "read the nunchi," "have quick nunchi," and "have no nunchi." Korea has a long-standing culture of believing people understand each other without saying anything. That's because for a long time, many family members lived together in small houses and people spent their whole lives seeing the same faces in one village. Saying "I don't like it" right away can easily make things awkward between people, so the skill of reading the room before speaking developed. ## Things to check before you step out the door - Look at who the most senior person is. That person often sits down first and starts eating first. - Listen for whether the answer is "Well..." or "I'll think about it." It's often a gentle refusal. - Notice how loud it is in the room. If everyone around is quiet, it's best not to talk loudly on the phone. - If you don't know, just ask. "Would it be okay if I do it?" A single word is enough. ## Nunchi isn't a bad thing Saying someone "watches others' moods" can also give the impression that they're timid. But being "nunchi-savvy" is a compliment. It means you're considerate of others. Even Koreans get it wrong sometimes. When that happens, if you smile and say, "I was being oblivious," most people will laugh along with you.