A friend asked, "Do you want to come over to my place this weekend?" You are about to say, "Sure!" but the person next to you says, "Well…" and trails off. Does that mean they're coming, or not? ## The Moment You Get Asked Koreans worry that saying "no" right away might hurt the other person's feelings. So they say things indirectly, like "Well...", "I'll think about it," or "Let's see each other next time." These words usually mean "It's difficult." Why is that? In Korea, relationships between people and saving face are treasured very much. Because a refusal can sound like "I don't like you." So the speaker says only a little and hopes the listener will read the mood and pick up on it. This ability to read the mood is called '눈치' (nunchi). Be careful with '괜찮아요' too. When someone says "Have some more" and you hear "괜찮아요," it means "No thanks, I'm not eating any more." But in answer to the question "Is it okay if I sit here?", it means "Yes, please sit." You have to look at the expression and the situation together. ## A Few Days Later, at the Chuseok Table It's the same when relatives or neighbors keep offering you food at Chuseok. The first "I'm fine" is often just a polite refusal. So the person offering will usually offer two or three more times. If you're really full, smile and say, "Thank you, that was delicious. I'm full now." Giving a reason along with your refusal makes it softer. ## Phrases You Can Use Right Away If the answer is unclear, ask like this. "So this weekend won't work, right?" The other person can easily answer "yes" or "no," so they feel comfortable sharing what they really think. When you're the one saying no, it's nice to say, "Thank you, but I think it'll be difficult."