A foreign coworker held out a small gift to a Korean coworker. The Korean coworker waved their hands and said, "No, it's okay." The foreign coworker thought, "They must not like it," and put the gift back in the bag. That day, both of them felt a little uncomfortable. ## A Day in the Life of the Foreign Coworker The foreign coworker took the words exactly as they were said. Since they said they were fine, I took it as a refusal. I stopped there because I worried that offering again might be rude. You did nothing wrong. You were being polite in the way your own country does it. ## A Day in the Life of the Korean Colleague The Korean colleague was actually happy. But I worried that if I just said "Thank you" and took it the moment it was offered, I would look greedy. In Korea, it's polite to decline first. Declining has two meanings. The person receiving says, "I didn't meet you for the sake of a gift," and so saves face. And they ease the giver's burden by saying, "You don't have to go out of your way." Then the giver offers it once more, saying, "No, please take it." Only then does the mood feel right for accepting it. It's a kind of small greeting, an exchange of declining and offering. ## What to Do in This Situation If someone declines, don't take the gift back right away. Try offering it once or twice more, saying, "It's just something small, please take it." It's even better if you hold it out with both hands. If their expression stays stiff to the very end and they really won't accept it, you can take it back then. When you receive a gift, try saying, "Oh my, you shouldn't have," once, and then accept it. You'll sound as natural as a Korean person.